Well... the nerves have decided to stick around for a while. The good news: my lack of appetite comes just in time for bikini season (which, in TX, apparently starts in March, so technically I'm behind schedule).
I haven't heard from my place of [now potential?] summer employment since before spring break. This is unnerving for several reasons: since I last spoke to them, they did a drug test and checked my references. I'm less concerned about the test and more concerned about the references. One of them I hadn't spoken to in about 5 years, another could have gone either way. Regardless - what is the hold up? The flexibility of my summer is quickly becoming much less so, and I would like to know whether a.) I will have enough time for a quick "hop" to Malaysia pre-job, b.) I will be able to pick up STM from the airport upon his much awaited arrival and c.) if I will be able to attend STM's graduation. The latter 2 fall on weekdays and are of fairly high priority, so knowing what my employment requirements are on those days is of utmost importance. Of course, knowing whether or not I STILL HAVE A JOB is even more important...
Additionally, this week includes the the day on which I am to be verbally massacred in my Class From Hell. I volunteered to present a case, about which I know essentially nothing, to a classroom full of Subject Matter Experts. All in the name of procuring an above average participation grade, which counts for a full 50% of the final grade.
I don't know if I will be able to complete my independent study. Part of this is due to factors outside of my control, but another part of me wonders if I would be in this predicament if I had decided to just stick with 5 classes, or if I hadn't gone to Turkey and Greece. The answer to this is invariably, NO, you moron, you brought this misery upon yourself and now you have less than a month to pull your shit together. That said, I would go to Turkey and Greece all over again, given the chance. Screw you, independent study.
Despite what appears to be a deluge of distractions, it's all I can do to focus on the rational, somewhat controllable parts of my life. I miss him constantly. By the 2 week mark I thought that things would have settled at least somewhat, but instead I find myself evaluating my days based on whether or not I was able to talk to him. This cannot be the healthiest way to go about my day, but I think I've somehow forgotten how to be sane.
4 comments:
we need to talk, dammit.
miss and love you.
ugh - you grad school kids and your summer employment horror stories.. i hope this works out.
good luck on the presentation!
D
oh, also? you'd better eat. you are too thin already (or at least you were in nov), and you know it. dammit. EAT. SOMETHING. no boy/school is worth your sacrificing your health.
annnddd... mommy checks out.
OKAY... for your info, i ate a ton while STM was in town, what with him cooking me breakfast lunch and dinner... so i have not yet revisited where i was in November, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
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