for a change

First off, I highly recommend a visit to Istanbul and Budapest. Athens, perhaps if you have some spare time and cash, but the rude people and busy streets hardly make the trip worth it. Istanbul is a fascinating balance of Muslim culture, friendly faces, exotic shopping - um, hello, Grand Bazaar anyone? - and secular business practices. It's also a land of smoking hotttt jeans and unidentifiable yet delectable meat.

Second, I accepted a job offer for the summer. Sadly, I will remain within the stifling confines of TX - the DFW area, no less - but I'm pretty sure it's going to make for a kick ass experience. And I'm not talking about the fact that I will be living with my parents for several months.

Finally... most importantly, or at least that's what I tend to think given the percent of my day dedicated to thinking about it... I have an amazing, amazing man in my life. He does things on a regular basis that leave me in awe and make me lose my breath. He is everything, everything, I've ever wanted in a partner. Prior to spring break I had the luxury of having him around 24/7 for more or less a month, and it was just... perfect. From the very beginning we both acknowledged that we didn't quite know where things were headed but we agreed to do what felt right.

Honestly, nothing has ever felt this right. Which is, i suppose, why it's so frightening. The whole uncharted territory thing.

There is so much I feel I still don't know about him, and the thought of not being able to sit down for an extended period of time and really commit myself to knowing him inside and out is less than ideal. This time around, I don't have the benefit of all my friends knowing all his dirty secrets and being able to tell me how he really feels about me, about life. How else am I supposed to know if he even thinks of me while traveling for 8 weeks? How will he handle the fact that I will be in Shanghai for the fall semester? Does he get jealous? Lonely? Would he even tell me? The absolute last thing I'm looking for is another failed long-distance relationship.

Yet he has done nothing to deserve such a third degree, which is why I don't bring it up when he calls just to say hi from Paris. Experience has already shown that not only is he very self-aware, but he will answer anything I ask him, and honestly. Besides, I already know he loves me, I know he thinks of me, I know he cherishes our time together as much as I do and I know he looks forward to our future.

So why am I so damned stressed?