flying pigs

As if having another growth spurt wasn't enough... I learned yet another fun fact about myself today from Josh, my New Favorite Stylist:

I have naturally curly hair. Naturally. Curly.


This sure beats high school, when I took a searing hot curling iron to my head in order to create a not-so-stunning Shirley-Temple-esque look.

dredging up the past

A: so you dont see value in us being friends or you just dont know of a way that it wont be awkward
Me: right now... both.

Almost 3 months later and we're still not on the same page. When he first broke up with me, I was devastated. I worried that we would never talk again, that the man who had reliably been my best friend for over 6 years would leave a gaping hole in my otherwise ever-changing life. That losing him would mean utter chaos and I would descend into an abyss of overwhelming academics and an even more staggering search for a summer internship.

That was then.

I now know better. The dissolution of our relationship forced me to fully realize my strength as an independent person. I have always maintained a strong sense of self, even within the context of a long-term relationship. But never was that self-awareness so important or evident as when I had to fully depend on myself. When I had to make the decision to physically remove myself from the situation. When I had to literally gather the strength to get off the futon and find my own apartment. When I had to go back to the home that was once ours and reclaim my possessions.

Maybe, to some degree, my detachment from A is a function of bring forced to methodically separate myself from the situation in order to hold it together. I suspect that the more compelling reasons are that we hadn't had a real connection for years, and with his thoughtless actions in the last days A severed any chance we would have had at a post-mortem friendship.

Combine that with the fact that I am busier than I ever have been and hot new guy (STM) has entered my life, and we have a resounding verdict: I don't need A in my life. Nor do I see a point in the future where I will. I harbor no animosity, no regret, not even sadness. I'm just done trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Hi, D! You know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...

Since I've been home I have applied for 21 internships, finished xmas shopping for the fam, learned that I have AMAZINGLY maintained a GPA over 3.0 (thereby retaining a much-needed, much-coveted scholarship), won my fantasy football league's Superbowl, caught up with girlfriends over a midnight happy hour, gone for a spontaneous 4 mile run sans stoppage, saved my dad's computer from the brink of virus-induced death, talked at length with a certain hottie in Malaysia and made 5 batches of cookies. I love winter break.

Behold the fruits of my labor:

gingerbread men and sugar cookies...


candycanes...


nutmeg-powdered nutballs...


peanut butter coconut pecan truffles....

by the skin of my teeth

It wasn't pretty, but I survived. How a final exam grade of 41% translates to a B- overall, I will never know.

The only thing messier than my performance over the past week? Tonight.

in an effort to be the least productive person on earth...

Things I did today:

1. completely blew my accounting final
2. sat next to a man on the bus that smelled like a gas station restroom that hadn't been cleaned since 1982
3. took a nap
4. talked to new man... 3 times
5. organized digital photos
6. did laundry
7. painted my toenails
8. packed for a brief but glorious weekend sojourn to Houston
9. drank coca tea

Things I did not do today:

1. spend any money
2. adequately prepare for marketing final tomorrow
3. care about adequately preparing for marketing final tomorrow

something good

Maybe it's that honeymoon phase glow talking, but I've been really happy lately.

One week of blissful, sinfully spontaneous cohabitation, and I'm well on my way to... where, exactly?

He's perfect.

Smart.
Ambitious.
Incredibly thoughtful.
Just affectionate enough.
Funny.
Uninhibited.
Hot beyond belief.

And I mean really - he cooks.

Who knows if I'm ready, but circumstances could very well see to it that things don't move too quickly regardless of what either party wants. The only foreseeable obstacle is timing, the Story of My Life. If someone figures out the answer to that one, please pass it along...