I know it's been a while... To make a long story short, A & I broke up 2 weekends ago, and I haven't felt like blogging. Every time I sit down to type up an entry, my mind knows not where to begin.
So I'm hoping that this discombobulated mess of a post will somehow inspire more witty, insightful and/or entertaining entries in the future.
What have I been doing since our breakup? I have been delirious with joy at having received my new computer. I finally attended that Romantic International fondue class at Central Market. I went to an improv show in Sundance Square. I have been getting used to the complexities of my new job, making mistakes and useful alliances, all at the same time. I was the third wheel at a dinner with my friend and her fiance. Me - a third wheel! I went jewelry shopping and then to see the Splendors of the Forbidden City exhibit at the DMA with my mom. I ate dinner with my family. I have started researching the idea of teaching English in Asia. I have thought about going to business school, but still really don't want to go. I invested in a Roth IRA and incurred the highest credit card bill of my life.
I have also spent time with friends, attended happy hours, gone out to bars... and I haven't really had a whole lot of fun doing any of it. It's not un-fun, it's just seems like all of the things I used to do for fun have lost their meaning. And I don't know how to regain happiness. I'm not depressed. I'm not anything, really, but I do know that I am not emotionally well. Our breakup was quite mutual. There was no screaming, no ill-will, no blaming... it even glimmered ever-so-faintly of hope. I think that's why it will be so difficult for me to get over him. How can I put something so positive and enriching as my time with A behind me? Charlotte says that it takes you 1/2 of the length of your relationship to actually get over it.
If there is any truth to that, I have 2.25 years to go.
This weekend I am slated to make an appearance at a good friend's wedding in Toronto. The plan is to look hot, enjoy myself, and meet some new and exciting boys. What I fear will happen is that the only other wedding guest I know will be so busy being a part of the wedding party that I will just melt into the background and have a terrible time, wondering why I went in the first place. What will probably happen? I will have a fairly good time, get moderately drunk, meet some fun people and then go home feeling the same as I did when I headed to Canada in the first place. Which isn't a bad thing... just odd and unsettling.
On a good note, J is in a similar situation, and may soon be rendering me a visit in Cowtown! I wonder if the cowboys could handle two newly-single women?
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