crime and pumpkinishments

My mother revealed that she plans on foregoing the whole jack-o-lantern thing this year. WHAT?? That kind of thing just does not happen in our household. For all the Yankee, un-touchy-feely airs my mom puts on, there is a side to her that truly enjoys partaking of all the yearly traditions. She still signs "Santa" on our Christmas presents, fills our mailboxes with Cadbury Cream Eggs nestled in green plastic grass, sends me and my brother Valentine's Day cards and makes corned beef & cabbage on St. Pattie's day.

I suppose I should have taken it as a sign of things to come when she stopped hanging the advent calendar on November 30th.... But no Jack-o-lantern? Has she no soul? I just can't stop thinking about the throngs of small children who will have to skip our house this year. I mean, without a glowing pumpkin grinning toothily through the window, how will the kiddies know anyone is home?

Now that I think about it, my parents live in a development that is pretty anal about the upkeep of the neighborhood's houses/yards. Surely there is a footnote in their guidelines about the necessity of a Halloween jack-o-lantern. Or is there?

Having been unable, thus far, to convince my mom to break out her carving knife in the true spirit of All Hallow's Eve, I shall take it upon myself to carry the torch. So what if there are no kids living in my apartment complex? At least I will be able to sleep at night.